Ring Bell for Service

I’m just coming off a tough weekend. I’ve been trying to train my humans to leave me alone as little as possible. They think that they can just send me to my “room” whenever they leave and expect me to behave.  In an act of retaliation, I’ve decided to poop on the kitchen floor five feet from where they sit. Today alone I did it three separate times and, boy, they didn’t like that. Now they watch me like a hawk every time I walk around the kitchen. I just pace around the kitchen sniffing the ground and they freak out. Little do they know that I’m just messing with them most of the time. I try to keep things interesting by giving them a gift every once and a while, just to make sure that I still have their attention. I’ve found, however, that this just leads to more crate time and less time for me to play.

My favorite thing to do is to gnaw on a tasty pig ear. Because of the wood floors in the kitchen, the ear squirts through my little paws and slides across the floor when I jump on it. When I finally catch the ear, I’ll take it over to a little corner of the living room and chomp away on that thing. When my humans put me in the crate when they leave, I’ve trained them to at least give me the pig ear to chew on when I’m in there.

In an attempt to try to get me to go potty outside, Phil brought home a bell the other day. It’s one of these bells that you’d put on a store counter next to a sign that reads “Ring Bell for Service.” So now I’ve trained him to pick me up and carry me over to the bell. Then he rings the bell and says “Go outside and go potty?” and carries me outside. It’s great. It’s my own personal chauffeur that carries me inside and outside…and I don’t even have to tip. Phil vigorously defends the use of the bell and insists that I’ll ring it on my own someday. He keeps talking about some guy named Pavlov and saying that it worked for him and his dog. Whatever…I just think he looks like a total goofball.

I think I could get used to this whole bell-thing, where all that I have to do is “Ring Bell for Service.” Until next time my doggie friends…

(photo credit: Saad K.)


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